"Everybody's Fine"

Ok so I was having a good day... well to be honest this is how my day went... I woke up at like 6am and I thought of a great plan to study Graphic design next year... anyway besides the obvious fact that I'm too late. I went back to sleep for like half an hour then my sister woke me up to say she brought a movie she rented, do I want to watch. So I went to go watch it. And wouldn't you know it, it was just the worst movie I could have watched right now. It was "Everybody's Fine" with Robert di Niro. Its about a guy that tries to make plans with his kids and they all bail out, then he goes to see each of them. They all basically have been lying to impress him because he wanted so much from them. The thing is they were all pretty great, they acomplished what they wanted to and what he wanted them to. It just made me think even more about the disapointed I am. The only thing my parents can be proud of with me is that I'm a good kid, I don't drink or smoke and I don't go frolicking around with every guy I lay my eyes on. But who really cares, in their eyes I think that only means I'm not having fun. How did I get to this point of being absolutely nothing? My mom likes to remind me that I have done some great things, but come on, she's my mom, of course she would tell me that. At least my dad doesn't sugar coat it, I know how he feels, he tries to be proud but he doesn't have a lot to work with. When I was little I had such big dreams. I wanted to work for NASA, be a film maker basically be anything that would make my parents proud. Now look at me. I've really screwed up.
Just after I wrote this my dad phoned me to help his girlfriend look for their dog that ran away. Someone found the dog though as I got there, thank goodness. He was fine. And then after that she texted me to say I am such a kind hearted person (I must take after my mom because she is the most amazing person. Depsite everything she also came with me to look for the dog and she does it with a smile and hugs all around) and then my dad also texted to say that I'm such a bright shining star. Maybe that's all I've ever be, a kind hearted person. Maybe I should try a little harder not to screw that up too. Lord knows I'm doing my best to be anti-social. I know this is going to sound crazy, yes it's so not like me to say this. But today I've been wondering if maybe I would excel in being a wife and mother. There I said it!! Hahaha. Crazy right?? But seriously I'm 22 years old and I'm so worried about how I've screwed up my life. There is a lot of life left, yes I'll probably screw up for a few more years. Maybe I won't but maybe one day when I do get married I could be great. This is so out of character of me, I'm the one who thinks that when woman get married they turn into mindless robots. I always make a joke with my sister that she should go out and buy plain white plim soles because she is such a wife (the plimsole thing is an inside joke about wife shoes) But ya, I don't know whats up with me warming up to the idea of getting married and being a mom. Its really weird. I'm gonna snap out of it right now. Ok I think maybe because something my dad said the other day, he said that my uncle has grandchildren and his brother and sister have their grandchildren and what does he have. Ok I don't think he expects me to pop out kids in the next year, in fact he's probably counting on me not to get pregnant haha he's obviously referring to my sister who is 12 years older than me and my brother who is 10 years older than me. But I would really like to have kids... you know... before, like while my dad is still young enough to enjoy his grandchildren. His dad got to see us all, he died the same year that I was born. My mom wasn't as fortunate though, her father only got to see my sister. She often talks about how much her dad would have loved us. I think my dad and my mother would be amazing grandparents, they would love all our children so much. Ok Angie, stop now! :)

Its getting really Christmassy everywhere now, I love it! I can't wait to put up our tree soon and go Christmas shopping.
I haven't made another new picture again so I'll post an oldie. Ooohh I'll post a picture of a cake I made in September for my sister's bday. It's a chocolate mousse cake with a ganache topping and a chocolate band.