So this morning started off with a negative bang. I woke up and I got annoyed by the usual things that annoy the crap out of me. Anyway and then I'm happily eating an apple and afterwards I noticed that there is a big chunk out of one of my teeth. That makes me really sad because my brother just had his teeth done and it costs so much. I'm so scared that I'm not going to be able to fix it. I know it isn't the biggest problem in the world to have I AM aware of what other people go through and my problems are pale in comparison but in my little world a chunk out of my tooth is a big problem okay?? I can sit here and play the blame game in my head all day if I like but what the hell is that going to solve? I'm just gonna get over it. I'm just going to get over everything and try move on happily. My sister's boyfriend is a jerk asshole that doesn't treat her right, so what? I'm over it, there's nothing I can do to get her to see it. There is a huge ass gaping whole in my tooth! So What? I'm over it! I can't do a full workout in the morning because there are always people in and out of the house. So what? I'm friggin' over it! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE!!! So what? So what? Who am I kidding, I'm very much not over it!

In other news. Neve Campbell has featured in my last two nights dreams. First it was the end of the world and she and a team were coming to save people but she wanted to kill me. Last night, she was in my dream again and we were all running from something and she was so scared, I could feel her fear and it scared me too. I find this quite amusing. I think my mind is using pop culture to try tell me something. See Neve Campbell as a dream icon would represent a 'Scream Queen.' I think there's something that my subconcious is very afraid of. I didn't really know what it could be until now, after right all that crap up there. Clearly I'm fearful about where my life is headed. If I'm being totally honest with myself I know that I'm not going to study next year. There is just no money for that. And I'm quite indecisive about what I want to study. I know what I want to do with my life. I want to create things, I want to write stories, or bake cakes or create art.  I don't want to have a stupid retail job or restaurant job ever again. And I certainly don't want a 9 to 5 office job. I will go absolutely mad! So yes, that's where I get indecisive, I want to study something good but some people don't think what I want to study is a proper thing. I wish I could just go live up in an ice cave or something for a year to sort myself out. Okay, I don't want to live in a flippin' ice cave, I just want some time to think. Its not fair putting pressure on someone to do something and then when they want to do it you have a problem with it. Oh gosh, its not right to start your day off thinking like this. Its so negative.

So I'm gonna try change my mood, with good music, something yummy to eat and by making a wicked picture. Peace out!

Neve Campbell in Scream